Not since poor Cameron Diaz got involved with this football legend in There’s Something About Mary, has a misunderstanding involving Brett Favre caused this much heartache.  As of this week the biggest news in the NFL is…nothing has changed.  Favre, who had told the world after the 2008 season that he was done with football for good, rocked the nation by announcing that he is still done with football for good.  At least that’s the story for now. [Editor's Note - Brett has cut the cake and joined the Vikes since this article was penned!]

For the latest team to check into the Favre heartbreak hotel, the Minnesota Vikings, the disappointment is palpable.  Dreams of an escape from the winter cold in Minnesota to the Super Bowl’s home in Miami are falling faster than the NASDAQ.  And to think, all this misery could have been avoided if the Vikings had simply take a page out of Diaz’ book.  For all the glitz and the glamour that come with the Hall of Fame bound signal caller, even Diaz knew that you are better off taking your chance with a stalker ex-boyfriend like Ben Stiller than entrust your heart to the good ole’ boy from Mississippi.

Another thing that the movies have taught us is that every actor who has ever appeared in a major motion picture can be traced to Kevin Bacon within six connections.  No doubt you’ve heard of the popular party game 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon.  Don’t believe me?  Look at Favre himself.  Favre appeared in There’s Something About Mary with actor Matt Dillon.  Dillon appeared in the movie Wild Things with Bacon.  Favre isn’t even an actor by trade and he can be connected in just two steps.

How you may ask though does this relate to the NFL?  A fair question.  It is my contention that like every actor/actress can be connected to Bacon in merely six steps, so too can the drama faced by every NFL team be traced back to Favre in only six steps.  I can already sense your doubt.  You’re saying to yourself, ‘Brett Favre has never done wrong by me or my beloved franchise.’  You may be right.  Perhaps the man with the golden arm has never directly done your team wrong, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t trace his finger prints to your misfortune somewhere along the way.  You’d no doubt like me to offer some credence to this theory.  I’d be delighted.

The heartbreak and drama that Favre has caused the Vikings and Packers is too obvious to mention.  So let’s look at the last team he was on, the Jets.  At first glance it seems he’s done them no harm.  He gave it his best effort last year and he turned a 4-12 team in 2007 into a 9-7 team in 2008.  What’s to complain about?  Nothing, unless you realize that the issue which will be giving Jets’ fans the most heartburn this year, their quarterback quandary, can be linked to Favre.  Let’s forget for the moment that the man Favre replaced, Chad Pennington, helped turn around the worst franchise in the league last season.  Maybe you think Pennington’s season was just a fluke and he still wasn’t the answer for your team.  Fair enough.  But consider this, how would you have felt about your team trading up to get Matt Ryan last year or not moving up at all and simply taking Joe Flacco? 

Had your team done that last year, chances are you’d have high hopes about your second year field general coming off an impressive rookie campaign.  As it is you’ll likely be spending this year on the rookie quarterback rollercoaster.  Hopefully Mark Sanchez makes the same splash Ryan and Flacco did last year, but if not you’ll need your heartburn medicine handy.  I see the link like this: 1) Heartache in 2009 breaking in a rookie quarterback to no quarterback drafted in 2008, 2) No quarterback drafted in 2008 to Favre.  Perhaps you’re starting to believe the theory.

Speaking of Ryan, what about the Falcons?  Highlights of Michael Vick are being played constantly and while the team has done an excellent job of turning things around since that horrible ordeal, I think it’s fair to say that some fans still feel a little sick to their stomachs when they think about what he did to their team.  How’s that Favre’s fault you may ask?  Recall if you will this little bit of trivia, Favre was actually draft by the Falcons 33^rd overall in the 1991 NFL Draft. 

The Falcons traded Favre just a year later after one season in which Favre failed to complete a single pass and threw interceptions on two of his four attempts that first season.  You can say that it’s the Falcon’s own fault since the team didn’t hold onto the young gun slinger, but the fact remains that once again we find Favre not far from a heartbreaking moment.  Let’s take a look at the linkage: 1) Heartache caused by Vick to Falcon’s needed a quarterback in 2001, 2) Falcon’s needed a quarterback in 2001 to the team trading Favre who was still in the league and productive in 2001.  In this case, it would be hard to blame Favre for the drama caused by Vick, but that doesn’t mean you can’t connect him to it.

Even after all this overwhelming evidence there may still be some doubts out there.  After all, the teams we’ve mentioned so far have all either owned the rights to Favre or, in the case of the Vikings, thought they were going to own his rights.  Many teams have never come close to having Favre on their roster.  How could the misery of such a team be linked to Favre?  Well let’s take a look at the Broncos as an example.  Expectations in Denver were flying a mile high coming off of Jay Cutler’s Pro Bowl campaign last season. 

Now the city is picking up the shattered pieces of its broken heart after a tough break-up with Cutler this offseason.  How could such a promising relationship end in such a messy divorce?  Like with any break-up there’s plenty of he-said-she-said (or I guess in this case it’s more of he-said-he-said), but one thing we do know is that one of the men charged with brokering the deal that got Cutler out of town was Bus Cook.  Not seeing the linkage yet?  Allow me to illustrate: 1) The Broncos experience offseason quarterback drama to Cutler leaves town, 2) Cutler leaves town to Cook helps facilitate deal to Chicago, 3) Cook to his most famous client, Favre.

To stay with Cutler, even the fans of his new team are feeling the knots in their stomachs as rumors swirl of a feud between new star Cutler and long time star Brian Urlacher.  Granted, even if this rift between Cutler and Urlacher is real (it’s only a rumor), it may still be less painful than the heartache Bears’ fans have been feeling with the quarterback carrousel of the past few seasons.  Never the less, this real or perceived tension can be traced to Favre once again through the Cutler-Cook connection.

I could go on, but I wouldn’t want to deprive you all of a fun tailgate game like 6 Degrees of Favre Drama.  Play with your friends this season.  Think of any drama brewing with any NFL team this year and try to link it back to Favre somehow in six steps or less.  That should help keep you busy until the charcoal on the grill heats up.

So what have we learned here?  Has Favre cast a dark cloud over the league from which no team is safe?  Absolutely not.  Favre is one of the most exciting players the league has ever seen.  He’s given a lot to the NFL and for that every NFL fan should be thankful.  I think he’s earned the right to take as much time as he pleases when it comes to deciding how the book on his playing career is going to end.  Favre didn’t owe the Vikings anything, nor will he be responsible in any way should the team stubble this season.  The fact of the matter is that when things go wrong we all start looking for the scapegoat.  The Vikings’ fans just have the luxury of having theirs picked out before the season even starts.  Can Brett Favre really be linked to drama throughout the league?  Probably not…but it’s a theory.